Quotations from The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

• All morons hate it when you call them a moron.
• Who wants flowers when you’re dead?  
• We went to the cemetery, started raining. And all started running like hell over to their cars. That’s  what nearly drove me crazy. All the visitors  could get to their cars and turn on their radios- everybody except Allie.
• Boy, when you’re dead, they fix you up.   
• There isn’t any night club in the world you can sit in for a ling time unless toy can at least buy some liquor and get drunk. Or unless you’re with some girl that really knocks you out.
• Do you happen to have any cigarettes, by any chance? –Say “no” or I’ll drop dead.
• Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it enda up making me sad.
• …some of these very stupid girls can really knock you out on a dance floor. You take a really smart girl, and half the time she’s such a lousy dancer, the best thing to do is stay at the table and just get drunk with her.
• People are always ruining things for you.
• I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It’s awful.
• What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by.  I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them.  I hate that.  I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it.  If you don't, you feel even worse.  
• People always think something's all true.         
• When I really worry about something, I don't just fool around.  I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something.  Only, I don't go.  I'm too worried to go.  I don't want to interrupt my worrying to go. 
• In my mind, I'm probably the biggest sex maniac you ever saw.   
• It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes.
• Sex is something I really don't understand too hot.  You never know wherenight, as a matter of fact.   the hell you are.  I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away.  Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass.  I broke it, though, the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact.